Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dreams, Friends, frustration, multiple partners, porn, sex with friends, threesome, touching
After what has been yet another ‘dry spell’, I had the craziest of dreams last night.
Best Friend has been going through a hell I don’t wish upon anyone. She has some big, life-changing decisions to make and she hasn’t been communicating lately. I worry a bit, but this is how she deals with things.
She had mentioned something about her getting in trouble for sending a text to an old boyfriend. I know his name and I’ve seen a picture of him. He is recently divorced and I think that most guys that get divorced go through their old ‘black book’ and see what everyone’s doing. Maybe it’s a transition or maybe it’s just that it’s easier to go back to somewhere you’ve been rather than starting over. Whatever.
Best Friend and I have been trying to plan a day where we can just hang out together and hold each other. It really has not ever been sexual other than neither of us gets that touchy-closeness from our respective spouses. Times have never matched up for us to successfully pull it off, maybe for the better.
Anyway. In this dream we plan an early evening of watching a movie at some place. In the dream it sort of was like a nice hotel. It wasn’t my house or any place that I had recognized. I was there, she came over. She went to change into some sweats/pajamas and I was already in the same. We had some DVD movies to watch and had put something in. We had settled on a big couch – although it was deeper than normal.
We cuddled up together, she was behind me and I was in front. She was commenting on how good this felt and we both were saying how much our spouses miss out on this. The next thing I know, this friend of hers is on the other side of her, spooning her from that side. Strangely, it was if it were all planned. Neither of us seemed surprised by his addition. He started rubbing her through her pajamas; her hips, her back, and around to her chest. He was kissing the back of her neck. Watching the movie was pretty much difficult as the two of them were really getting into each other.
I moved a bit out of the way and they were stripping down. I was amazed at how pretty she looked and shared a combination happiness feeling for her that she was getting what she has wanted and an aroused feeling of watching what was going to be happening in front of me. They were taking turns orally – she sucking on him and his licking her. The sounds that they were making were putting me over the edge.
He had turned her around so that he was mounting her from behind and she was facing towards me. My erection was quite noticeable and Best Friend reached over and started rubbing my penis through my pants. It was awkward, but seemed right for some reason. Her friend stopped and she flipped over on her back, her legs were off the side of the couch and he stepped in between her legs and started again. She was lying there – very happy – and I moved over and started kissing her breasts. She was startled at first, but soon started really getting into the whole thing.
The thing that I remember most was the sheer look of joy on her face. It was like she had been waiting forever to be the center of attention – a bizarre, content, happy look. Her friend stopped thrusting and went down on her. The combination of his mouth on her pussy and my mouth on her nipples and breasts resulted in her screaming – a lot! Her happy expression was something that I had not seen on her in many, many years.
There was a knock on the door that interrupted everything – they ran off to the bedroom and I opened the door. It was a manager-type person asking if everything was okay. I assured them it was probably the TV and shut the door after they looked around me. I went into the bedroom.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed leaning back on his arms – her face was busy in his lap. She was enjoying his cock and I was still a bit uneasy about the whole situation. She moved up into the bed and he laid down behind her. She asked me to come closer and I faced her. The next hour or so was a blur of both she and I kissing, fondling, touching, tweaking, – her in the middle of us. I never saw him – she always faced me. Again, the look on her face was priceless.
I don’t remember that I ever penetrated her. We touched, kissed, played with each other’s hair. But I don’t remember it going any further for us.
She had come a few times in the front room and several more times in the bed. When her friend could do no more, he collected his clothes and kissed her good-bye. He and I never said a word to the other during the whole thing.
After he left, she and I took a bath together and rinsed off in the shower. We got back into our pajamas and went back to the sofa.
We assumed the original position and started the movie again – almost as if it was all planned that way.
I woke up with the hardest erection I have had in the longest time. I had this strange feeling like I had done something I shouldn’t have. Great. Guilt from my dreams…
I had my first dream involving Best Friend in February – post here. I don’t know if this is a healthy thing or not a good thing. This dream had a bit more involvement but still no fucking involving the two of us.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: communication, Having Sex, Making Love, Spouses, touching
I tried for the early morning, wake-up sex. You weren’t having it.
It felt good to just cuddle with you and talk anyway – almost an hour passed!
After working in the yard all day – we both needed a shower. I offered, you conceded – and we were in the shower together. After a quick rinse of our bodies, you started kissing my chest and neck. Something came ‘up’ and you were quick to start rubbing my cock and my balls. Your back was against the wall and I had spread my legs so that I was lower than you. Not only did I have great access to your breasts – you had great access to my dick. I turned you around and entered you from behind. The feeling was great – almost light-headed – a mix of the ecstasy, the warm shower, and the blood rushing to other parts of my body. It just didn’t feel ‘right’. You had your arms up on the shower wall. I tried to get you to play with yourself so that you could enjoy the shower as well. You opted not to. I tried reaching around to you myself but the rocking motion wasn’t conducive to my playing with you. Again, it just wasn’t right. You kept asking what I wanted but nothing was doing it.
I asked you to get down on your knees and to let me cum on your chest. Together we stroked my penis and balls until I was cumming all over your chest. I am always amazed how much can still come out after just having sex so recently. I played with it on your body as we washed it off. It’s funny how it reacts in hot water – parts glob up and stick to any stray hair. Anything that doesn’t go down the drain is just asking to be slipped on while getting out!
We toweled each other off and I asked if we could finish this day with you on top. Again, you said ‘yes’.
The night ended with you going to bed and complaining that you were sunburned. I’ll try again in the morning…
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dreams, Having Sex, Making Love, touching
So while waking up, I am having a dream where we are in our room – only it’s not our room. The bed was different and had different sheets. I had two – that seemed important in the dream – pillows that were shiny and golden covered underneath your hips and I was going at you from behind. I woke up and looked over at you. You didn’t look like were in the mood for anything.
Throwing caution to the wind, I moved in closer and started touching you. You sort of woke up. You said that you were having a dream about a white truck. I told you my dream and joked that they both rhymed [truck rhymes with fuck]! You almost woke up for that laugh.
You allowed me access to take your jammies off and were sort of reciprocal – in a sleepy kind of way – to get me out of my shorts.
Sleepy sex is not one of my favorites as it just doesn’t get to that level of closeness that I would like. It’s very one-sided feeling – but in my current state of things I’ll take what I can get!
I’m pretty much doing all the kissing and caressing while you just lay there. Again, it’s not doing much for me. I figure that I’ll take it up a couple notches and relive the dream sequence. I got to you roll over, sans pillows but in my mind it started pushing me over the edge. Your lack of moistness was almost painful and I needed to release and get it over with. That occurred. All over in about ten minutes – but it was SOMETHING.
While we lay there afterwards, you kept falling asleep – nothing wrong with that. I kept touching you – rubbing your shoulders, down your back, rubbing your butt, moving my feet over your legs. You didn’t like that.
My parting shot was that I was taking advantage of being able to touch you. That woke you up. You asked what that was supposed to mean. I explained that you hadn’t let me touch you in over two weeks. One night you allowed me to hold your hand. You looked at me with that crazy look and replied – that I have been cranky.
As if that would be a good enough reason to not let me touch you? Whatever.
I still wonder what the meaning was of the two golden pillows?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: communciation, Having Sex, Making Love, masturbation, relationships, touching, Video
Wife has returned from several days away. We talked and IM’d a bit while she was gone but pretty much didn’t talk much.
After Saturday’s self-abuse, I was pretty primed for something to happen. I never know what kind of a mood she will be in so it was a bit of crap shoot.
She was VERY friendly when I came home. She kissed – or more to the point – allowed me to kiss her. We hugged, we cuddled. The kids were not in the mood to do anything that they were supposed to and dinner was already in the oven. We met in the hallway and I hugged her and told her that we could just get things out of the way and go to our room now. She rolled her eyes and laughed in her ‘not on your life’ way. But then, she came up behind me and said, “Ok, let’s go…”. We gave the kids things to do and went to our room.
She mentioned something about my having to see her ‘tinks’. Apparently, on her trip they all temporary tattooed themselves. She had one on the inside of her left breast and one right above her ass crack. Her bra was one that barely covered the nipples and pretty much had me standing at attention right away. We crawled into bed and she wanted to turn out the lights. I said no way. I told her of my weekend and how much I had missed her. She had missed me as well but didn’t take to the self pleasure as I had. She was a bit surprised that I had taken out the latex pussy as she thought that it was just a novelty since we couldn’t figure it out years ago. I tolder her how it satisfied the one need, but how it just made me feel more alone….
She talked about their making snow angels on her trip and I acted confused as to how that did that. She showed me in bed and I took advantage of her legs being open and jumped in the middle of them.
She tried to stop me from going down on her – something that I said I was not going to listen to her about. She wanted me in her and I said that I had to lick the real thing. I can tell when she’s not concentrating as to how she reacts to licking. Whether it’s because of her worrying if the kids tried to come into the room or if her mind was elsewhere – it took her a bit longer than normal to climax. As I have said before, the taste of a wet pussy trumps any other.
I kissed my way from her, down a thigh, back up, down the other, then up to her breasts, then up to her neck and ear and around to her lips. While doing so, I repositioned so that my penis entered her already wet body about the time I hit her ear. The combination sigh and contraction around my penis was exciting.
We continued to kiss eachother while our hands roamed about. I told her how she needs to watch how we were in the movies. She said that we were twenty years old in those movies and I said that we still had that in us. I asked in what position she wanted me when I came as I was getting very close. She asked which I wanted – I said all over her chest. I pointed out that her new ‘tink’ tattoo would look sexy with my cum all over her….
I think that she wanted to enjoy her temporary tattoo a bit longer so she started working her hips a bit more in time with mine and I came quite happily where I was at.
She wanted to get up and get dressed immediately and wasn’t listening to my pretty much begging her to come back. I was still quite hard and knew that I could be ready for another round. It wasn’t happening. I had to be content with a nice, quick, love-making session while I had it.
As she redressed, I told her that this was just an ‘appetizer’ to later in the night. She did laugh with that ‘not on your life’ way and I knew that it wasn’t going to happen.
Maybe we’ll get to watch the movies together and talk more. That’s my hope!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alcohol, communication, masturbation, relationships, Self Pleasure, sexual observations, Spouses, touching
Just to update the status of my life so far this year:
Things with my wife have been better than 2007 started out.
Communication has improved but still nowhere near where I would care for it to be. I have continued trying – not giving up like I had resolved last year. She had said she would improve but that only held for two or three days. It has returned to the usual level of ‘not much’ for her.
Sex has been more frequent – twice this year and four times in the last 24 days. That’s pretty much a record compared to the past year. It’s a very sad data report – but at least it’s better than 12 times in 12 months. I think that there’s hope. I also have come to the reality that I think that in my mind that I would like something sexual to happen at least once a week. I don’t want to say that I would expect it, but it would be nice to at least have something to count on. I don’t want it to be ’scheduled’ and I would love some more spontaneity in our lives. I will try to talk to her more about that – I already brought it up once but I think that she was drunk and will not have remembered it.
Drinking. I feel that this will be a big issue this year. If I ‘allow’ her to drink, I have a much better shot at the more frequent sex. It’s not that I forbid her – I just really discourage it because she’s so volatile. I am convinced that some of the strangeness is a mix of the alcohol and her diet pills/shakes/etc. I don’t know how to get through that issue. I just can’t rely on her to be a responsible parent FIRST if she drinks. I would love to enjoy a glass of wine with her and to come home and have a tall cocktail certain days. Weekend mimosas would be a welcome change as well. It’s just I can’t be a hypocrite and condone it sometimes and not others. This causes me too much thought and weighing the future of our lives together versus satisfying my sexual wants.
Touching. I long – no I need – to be touched. This is not necessarily sexual, but I want to have my hand held. I want to be hugged. I want to snuggle. I have brought this up too many times and for that two day period in December – I received it. I was happy. I felt better. My days were better. Best Friend has been through a lot in the past 30 days and we have tried to see if we could get together for a cuddle session. That has not worked and I have found myself coming to a reality that it may not work. I believe that we both need it and that it would be beneficial to us both. Still nothing sexual, but no matter what – the risks of being found out weigh heavily. Last month we met at a bar in a restaurant and just sat next to each other – shoulder to shoulder and held hands while we talked. If one of her co-workers or one of my family members had been at that restaurant that night – there’s no way to explain it to them. If B.F.’s husband had come in – he would have gone ballistic. If my wife had shown up – I honestly feel that she would ultimately understand – but that’s just that she does trust me. If we were kissing or something else – she would cut my pecker off. I just need to be touched more.
Masturbation. I have lots of issues with this subject. First and foremost, I feel strongly that if you feel the need to pleasure yourself because you’re not getting that ‘release’ with your spouse – that you should work together more on that. If you do it just because you can or feel that you need to – there’s some deeper issues that need looking at. Having kids raises more issues as well as I don’t want them to think of it as ‘dirty’ but I also want them to walk in on dad cranking one out to naked pictures of mom. My original plan for the year – based upon the communications that we had about being more open and more sexual – was that any pleasure would be done with the other person unless we were out of town, etc. There’s just been a few times already that I haven’t been able to go without it. More talking needs to occur here and I need to work out these other feelings/thoughts.
Friends. I need to reach out more to our friends. Mutual friends, our own friends, old friends. My social life sucks and we need to get out more and have more people over. I think that part of our problems revolve around that our lives revolve around eachother, work, and our household. We need that communication and adult conversation (that’s conversation with adults).
To wrap it all up – progress has been made – we still have a lot of work in others. I need to think more clearly on the good/bad of choices that I have made or need to make.
I had left a message with Best Friend about my dream. Actually, she was scared because I left her a message about what we had ‘done’. She thought that it was something that we were being accused of.
When I told her about it she laughed. The strange thing is that I described her jammie bottoms perfectly. That was a bit weird. She wasn’t sure about the top thing, but seemed pretty weirded out about the other description.
While we were laughing about all of this – I had the realization that we probably would never have our cuddle party.
It could never be at one of our houses as the risk of being caught would be too great. Not only just being caught – but explaining the simplicity of the intent of our meeting. Imagine explaining to someone else that you were just holding each other. Not very likely.
Meeting at a hotel shares a similar risk. In the albeit unlikely chance of being caught – you can’t explain it. Say that one of our spouses friends worked at the hotel or was having a liaison themselves. It cannot be explained. Any logical person would expect the worst and we both agreed that we would probably expect the worst if we found our spouse in the same predicament.
BUT… we also agreed that anyone who really knew us could accept our wants and needs. The problem is that the ones we are married to are not exactly the ones who really know us. That’s just sad.
I really don’t see us ever successfully cuddling. It’s a great thought – but not very realistic.
Last night or this morning I had a dream.
Best Friend and I figured out a place to have our cuddle party. For those who are keeping track – we both long to be just have human contact – nothing sexual. Our goal is to just lay down on a sofa and watch a movie and to be held.
In my dream, BF came over to the house in the morning after she took her kids to work and we just watched a movie. In the dream, it was my house – but it wasn’t really a room in my house. This one was more modern, with a sort of grey, larger than normal couch. There was room for us to both lay down next to eachother with plenty of extra room. Nothing like anything I have.
I was wearing some thin cotton pajama bottoms and a soft cotton, long sleeve shirt. The colors I was wearing would change – light bottoms, dark top – some things I recognized from my closet – some not. She was wearing plaid cotton pajama bottoms – they were white with light blue and dark blue plaid/stripe patterns on them. Her top was a white – camisole-ish – top with thin straps. It had a sport-type bra in it so she wasn’t like hanging out of it or anything. It wasn’t sexy in a lingerie-y way.
We just laid together and watched a movie. We kind of spooned and we would swap positions during the movie with me in front of her and her in front. In the dream, I had a raging hard-on. She noticed it but didn’t do anything to cause notice. In real life, I would probably have a hard on. It was kind of like she knew it was there but didn’t care. I was the same way – kind of like, sorry but I can’t do anything about this. It never was a problem – something that we both admit probably helps us. We’ve already had sex – albeit twenty years ago so there’s no wondering what ‘if’. We just watched the movie, she went back home and I went to work. Nothing more. Very nice.
When I did really wake up – it was one of those things where you don’t know what’s a dream and what’s not. I couldn’t help to think that maybe we HAD scheduled something. Then I found myself thinking that maybe it could happen in our house. Your mind races at moments like this and it was a mix of excitedness and scariness as to what I was thinking.
My reality came crashing down when my wife came home with a sick child. Boy. That could have been awkward had we been cuddling!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Friends, masturbation, relationships, Spouses, touching
The movie start times with Best Friend did not go in our favor. We opted for meeting at a local restaurant bar. For those keeping score, B.F. and I don’t get touched by our spouses and we long to just cuddle with eachother – to be held and to hold someone else. Nothing sexual.
The obvious problem is that a) we are both married b) we have families to take care of c) we both work and d) that society doesn’t take well to two married people shacking up in a hotel to ‘cuddle’.
If we get caught – nobody is going to buy that we don’t have anything sexual. Her husband already is convinced that we are having sex – yet seems okay enough to not persue the issue – which is very strange indeed.
I have been thinking of where we can meet. We have thought of department stores – you know in the furniture vignettes. I figured that we could just hold eachother for about 30 minutes before being kicked out. Hotels would work fine, but there’s bound to be issues with payment, and the fact that nobody will understand. Out of town is great – but unrealistic for timing issues.
Knowing that we weren’t going to a movie where we were going to hold hands and hug – I figured I’d opt for the hotel. I had some extra time before we met and I went and purchased a ‘cuddle kit’ – a small backpack, some flannel jammies, a toothbrush and toothpaste. I scoped out the local area hotels and figured that we could find a place that would take cash and I would check in if ever the need arose.
We met – she had told her husband that we were going out, only she added that my wife was with us. We had bet how long it would be before he started texting and calling her – I said 40 minutes, she said 90 – she won. She looked great but a bit harried.
She admitted to me that she had tried be a sexy slut earlier. While her husband was sleeping in front of the TV, she showered, put on a crotchless, lace unitard, high heels and went and woke him up. Needless to say, he got the message but ultimately failed in satisfying anyone but himself. There were other issues and after it was over, had asked him if she doesn’t do it for him anymore. His reply was that she only fights with him anymore. What a prick!
Anyway, we stayed in the bar, just sitting in a booth next to eachother. We would hold hands sometimes but pretty much our shoulders and hips were touching the whole time. It felt wonderful. We talked about getting real cuddle time – just being able to lay down and watch a movie or something. We agreed that it really isn’t in the cards and that everybody expects the worst. We also agreed that we both feel ’safe’ with eachother. If she tried ‘cuddling’ with another male – the guy would think that more was coming – something that she has not totally dismissed anyway.
I can’t stress how much it sucks for both of us. We both have spouses – people that we do love deep down in our hearts – that refuse to satisfy the touching and communication that both desire. We used to have it with our mates – but something has changed and neither of us can pinpoint what the turning point was.
I suggested that she ask her husband, sometime NOT during a sexual moment – to write down what he would enjoy sexually. To be specific in his request – time of day, clothing, mood, location, position – everything. She would accommodate his request. Likewise, she should already have her request already written out and she should share it with him with the hopeful wish that he would accommodate her one day. She has tried asking him and has done things for him in the past that he says he wants to do, but they are at a wall sexually. She asked what my requests would be and I hate to say it – but EVERYTHING. If I catch an odd view of a breast, just seeing the outline of a thong through pants, being touched, being breathed on, all of this – I’m erection-city! There are things that I would like in addition and times I enjoy special ocassions – but I can honestly say that everything turns me on. She didn’t like my answer.
We left after a couple of hours. I went home to my quiet house. Wife was asleep, but restless. Her breathing was quick and loud and she was constantly stirring. She was moaning every now and then. I knew that because of the infection and the shower episode, she wasn’t going to do anything.
I went into the computer room, fired up the written and visual porn – and masturbated happily.
Best Friend called tonight and her kids are going to be gone from the house and she wants out of the house. I have an out-of-town visitor that I would prefer not be around as well – so I am TOTALLY ready to get out. She wants to go see a movie and I am all for that – I don’t get out to see many first-run movies. We both just want to touch and to be touched – not sexually – it’s just that we don’t get that from our spouses. I am so looking forward to that.
I also get to have lunch with another out-of-town friend so I will be away from the house all day!
