I have not spoken to Best Friend in a long time. She’s been avoiding answering me. I am okay with that in some ways but really needed some ONE to talk two these past couple of weeks. That hasn’t happened so I have a lot of built up grief and issues. When you can’t talk to someone you keep it all bottled up inside of you and the pressure is quite dangerous. I yell. I have a short temper. I get more physical acting (I don’t act upon that).
BF and I are going to hang out all day on Friday. We’re both taking the day off and will hang out together. My mind races with lots of ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’. It’s harmless on the exterior. Short of some crazy dreams that I have had – it is harmless. She has explained to her husband that we are safer together in that we’ve already been down the road of intimacy. That’s better because you don’t get hung up on the ‘what ifs’ if becoming intimate. I agree – to a point. Either she means that it was not ’special’ enough to think of going down that road again or she is more realistic t(and grown up) to know that neither of us are in a situation to do anything to change our situations. I kind of fall into the latter part of that thinking as well.
Tonight though – my mind is racing. What if we did something? The timing is a bit good with everyone out of town. What would we do? What would the result be? Deep down I know that I am capable of straying. Deep down I also know that nothing good could come from straying. People get hurt no matter what and there are no good outcomes. Nobody can keep a secret. It will always come out – rather to be spiteful, to intentially hurt, or even just by mistake.
We both long for touching but to be honest it’s too freakin’ hot for that! I have given her the option of what we do – go somewhere, drive out of town, watch movies, go to movies. I think that she has to decide so many things in a day that she won’t pick something. I’m okay with just seeing what happens. No expectations. No fears.
On other fronts – Ex Worker Friend has been coming by to work on a computer. She needs a computer and – go figure – I have some to use. I don’t break out in a sweat like I have on other occasions – or as much at least. She is cute. But in that fifteen year younger cute that is kind of lecherous. She has offered to hang out with me while the family is gone. I’ll try to make that happen as well.
Lunch Friend has also offered to take me to dinner/lunch or do things while everyone is gone.
It’s nice to feel like people care enough to offer to help!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alcohol, Having Sex, Making Love, Sex Thoughts
Life around the ol’ homestead has been frustrating at best. We’re not speaking. We don’t communicate ANYTHING. It kind of puts a damper on anything sexually related as well.
Saturday was more of the same.
Sunday I surprised her by kissing her non-stop for no apparent reason. At first she was annoyed. Then happy. And then kind of okay with all of that. In passing through the house I reminded her that tonight was her last chance at an orgasm for over a week – I was going out of town. She said something playfully and I could tell that we were on!
As the day progressed, I made the mistake of sharing a fruity-malt-type liquor thing with her – she had said that she had already had one. Hmmmmmm.
While cooking, she opened a new bottle of wine. By the time we set down for dinner – there was less than a half glass left in the bottle. She was in her ‘playful’ drunk mood. It did not bode well for later in the evening as she soon gets tired and then uncaring. I tried to play my cards to seduce her into the bedroom early – but was cockblocked by the kids still being awake.
She warned me that she wasn’t ’sure’ she could stay awake for me. I had halfway resigned and admitted defeat as she turned off her light. I tried to get the kids to sleep – even bribing was on the table. It was not working.
I went into the room on her side of the bed and started rubbing her butt and thighs while kissing her shoulder, neck and ear. I told her that it was her night and that I would just stay on the side of the bed – giving her a ‘VERY personal’ massage. She tried to use the kids as an excuse again and I quickly thought of that everything would be under the sheets for her. If someone came in, they would be none the wiser.She still wavered on the whole thing but I was unrelenting. I started giving her a massage with the sheet on top of her. First her neck and shoulders, down her back, her ass, thighs, calves and feet. I spent about 20 minutes on her feet – not because she was enjoying it – but because the kids were still not asleep. The kids finally turned their lights out and were quiet. I knew they were still not quite asleep and that I still needed to keep her in some level of awareness.
I slowly moved the massage to under the sheets, still while kneeling on the side of the bed. My hands roamed her back and one hand found the crease between your legs. There was a lack of moistness that was disturbing as it could either be the alcohol or the lack of interest. I was betting on the former. I licked my finger to be able to probe for some moistness and finally found some. Her interest level was still not up to my par so I turned her over.
Her interest level was still not up to par so I moved her onto her back and situated her legs so that they were slightly parted so that my fingers had good access. She acted more awake and propped herself on her elbows. This gave my mouth wonderful access to her breasts and my right hand was attempting to get the lower half into sync with me. We were kissing passionately which was getting me very excited as well.
I insisted that tonight was ‘her’ night and that it was her turn to come. She half-heartedly denied needing anything – but continued playing for me. She was begging me to go down on her and I was denying her the pleasure. I told her that she had to be patient if she wanted my penis. She seemed distressed at having to wait. She laid down perpendicular to the edge of the bed and was waiting for my tongue. I climbed up on top of her and told her that she had to wait for the penis – or would she? I slipped inside her and started really getting into the sex. She commented that I would cum to quickly and I told her that it was impossible as she had to come first tonight. I teased her by starting to go down on her but then playfully humping her instead. I felt like she was getting into it a bit more and moved down to her waiting pussy. It was literally dripping wet. Her taste was sweet and clean – something that I had missed in the past 30 days. We were still attempting to stay as quiet as possible as we couldn’t be for sure that the kids were asleep.
In what seemed like not time at all – she was biting down on the comforter while her body bucked with excitement. She tried to get me to stop but I was enjoying the additional flavors and feelings. I relented and kissed my way out of her, along her thigh, to her hip and up between her breasts. She was already taking my pants down and using her feet to get them all the way off. We fucked hard. The night was warm and we were drenched in sweat. Tasting her sweat while kissing her next and forehead almost seemed unnatural. She maneuvered her leg up over my shoulder allowing me to penetrate deeper with each thrust. She was controlling where I was hitting her and our breathing was accelerated almost in unison. We exploded together and stayed connected while the fever we had created slowly subsided.
I rolled off of her and got her pajamas for her. We lay together for a few minutes before she was asleep.
I leave for a week and then we have plans this coming weekend for mother’s day. I bet this will be the last sex we have until the end of the month – but then she leaves….
Moments like this are comparable to that ‘last sex’ that you want to have. If something were to happen – be it an accident, a fight, divorce, or even death. This is the kind of lovemaking you want to be that ‘last’ time. You both are happy and content – and for us – for the moment all is well.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alcohol, Having Sex, Sex Thoughts, Spouses
After a week of being frustrated with the lack of sex – and pretty much lack of anything else between us – I woke up this morning horny. I tried to get her to come back into bed but she ignored me. I drifted back to sleep and had dreams of us doing all sorts of things to our bodies. Once awake, I tried to find her but she was already in a mood. We continued to fight – she left to go do things – I had things to do. That held up my plans but it was easier to let her go and not have to deal with her. I went to do things that she was supposed to do and returned to work in the yard. I did not know what she was doing while I was working but saw her get a glass of wine through the window.
When I was done, I went to go pick up something and the whole family kept calling me on my way back. I could tell something was up. I drive up to be greeted with champagne for the adults and sparkling cider for the kids. Another toast was in order – obviously she didnt’ remember the other toast from Friday. I could tell that she was tipsy.
I made another command decision that I was going to drink champagne and pretty much, come hell or not – would be fucking my drunk wife by the end of the night. Of course she had no idea about this but I knew what I had to do. I had three glasses of champagne with dinner. She was just bitchy all night. Rude comments. Argumentative towards everyone. She got up from dinner and informed me that I was to do the dishes and went to our room. I finished her glass of champagne while doing the dishes. She came in at one point from behind me and tried kissing me – but missed. She told me that when I was ready for bed that she would be kissing me – and left. At this point, I knew that she was already drunk and that I was right behind her. I was going to wake her up or do whatever was necessary, but I would sticking my dick into whatever orrifices I thought needed some penis.
Cleaning up her mess from the kitchen took unusually long and once finished, I downed the last big gulp of champagne. The effect alcohol has on you is pretty unique. It’s hot, but cool. The taste gives you strength even though you know that the overall aftertaste is pretty bad. I went into our room and stripped off all my clothes while climbing into bed. I went straight to her and she was unusally receptive to wrapping our bodies together. She was avoiding my mouth and really was doing whatever she could to keep her head turned away even though we were in a tight embrace.
She would say things but deny them minutes later. I mentioned something about how much clothing she had on and she didn’t bite as to her needing to remove it. It was too drunk people with two different agendas. She was trying to be coy, and not really wanting to do anything – yet she was tugging on my penis almost to the point of being uncomfortable. I was pretty much going do fuck her anyway but was trying for it to be a mutual thing. I gave her two options – option ‘A’ was that I give her sexual pleasure with my fingers. Option ‘B’ was my giving her sexual pleasure with my tongue. She didn’t want either one – I insisted those were the only choices. She wanted one more. Option ‘C’ was her giving me sexual pleasure with her mouth. She continued to waver between things and really was refusing to kiss me. My roaming hands went everywhere from nipples, to back to neck, to hips to between her legs. After what seemed like ten minutes, I finally maneuvered her to spread her legs and slipped my fingers into her. She was so wet. When she drinks, it’s very difficult to get her to come. I was working her over very well – but again, I was light headed at this point and cannot ascertain that I was being consistent either. She relented finally and took off her clothes.
I gave her the options again A, B, or C – and I made up D which was my screwing her breasts and cumming on her chin. I also let her know that ‘E’ would come after that – just our having sex. She wanted a taste of ‘E’. My penis entered her from on top and between the slippery state she was in and the frustrated pounding I was wanting to give her – I damn near pushed her up into the headboard. She was ecstatic! I told her that we had to stick to the schedule – we finished A – needed to move on to B. She tasted so sweet. Wine in general – and especially champagne – goes so well with wet pussy. We have enjoyed champagne (much in the past) where I have poured it into her and lapped it out with zeal. Someone should bottle that essence. Again, not knowing if who’s alcohol level was preventing my licking her to orgasm – my tongue was getting tired. I was really thinking that she was ready for ‘C’ and I was more than willing to let her. After some more maneuvering in the bed, she wanted to skip back to ‘E’. She directed my penis into her and started going at it. I insisted that she needed to come first and she insisted that it was about me this evening. More evidence of her drinking but I was not complaining!
I got into a good rhythm of pounding into her and before I knew it her left leg was up by my head. The sheets were damp with sweat and together we were having that raw kind of sex that you wish you had a camera for. I warned her that I was getting dangerously close and urged her to let me lick her before I came. She wasn’t going to have any of that and I finally exploded. I wouldn’t let her get out of bed and rolled her to the side and started working on her with my fingers again. I just couldn’t get her there and offered to let her show me what she needed. She wanted me screw her from behind and she would work herself from the front – like we used to do. I reminded her that she hasn’t done that in probably five or six years but she said she remembered it. She tried all she could to get me hard again and between her breasts, her nipples, her stomach, her hips and her talking dirty – I got just hard enough. She climbed on top of me and tried. I knew this was a lost cause as she was trying to ride me with long strokes – something a not 100% hard penis can accommodate. I tried talking her into letting me roll her over but she refused. She rolled off of me we held and kissed longer. She didn’t run to the bathroom or try to get dressed immediately.
Eventually she put on some panties and a shirt and crawled next to me again. I got her to promise that tomorrow night I would make her come and she could compare how she slept between the two nights. She promised even though I knew she wouldn’t remember. I asked, as I often do during this time why she doesn’t enjoy making love like that more often. She mumbled something about no time and drifted to sleep.
I could not got to sleep. The mixture of the smell of the room, the damp sheets, and the wet spots make my mind race more. Was I just feeding the monster by giving her what she wanted while she’s drunk and even more so by going there myself? I was supposed to have ‘the talk’ about her NOT drinking. Maybe I’ll have to do that this week. . .
So, I was getting the ‘vibes’ that the Mrs. was getting horny. I ‘thought’ that it would be last night. She ‘lingered’ when I would hug her and her kisses had a little more passion than normal.
She went to bed early without any inkling that she wanted me to follow. Darn.
When I crawled into bed, she kept moaning. Not just sighing, but actually moaning. I tried moving closer to her in bed to see if she would wake up. Nope. I tried touching her, she stirred, but that was it. I rolled back over but she just kept moaning. I gently woke her up and she looked me straight in the eye – ‘What!?’. I told her she was moaning and she said ‘Screw you.’ and rolled back over. Two minutes later – more moaning.
I had to keep nudging her to get her to stop moaning. She just kept going right back to it. At this point – my penis had been rock hard in anticipation for almost an hour. There’s a point where when you’ve had an erection for so long – it just hurts. This is where I was. I contemplated just getting up and relieving the pressure. Then I contemplated relieving myself on her. That probably is not a good idea.
I rolled over and tried going back to sleep, with her moaning on the other side of the bed. It took about an hour to finally drift off.
My penis still hurt in the morning.
So, my wife has been sick, not throwing up sick (just yucky feeling). We haven’t been communicating. It’s been eleven days since we had sex. It’s been six days since my self-imposed stop of self pleasure. When I finally crawled into bed, she was lying on her back with the covers down. Her breasts looked absolutely beautiful. Her breathing wasn’t deep and she was stirring quite a bit. I’m not into forcing myself on her as the repercussions seem to last longer and cost me a lot as she goes shopping. So, I moved closer and put a hand up to the small of her back. Maybe I was just wishful thinking, but I felt her moving. I moved up behind her and started rubbing her butt through her jammies and started kissing the back of her neck. She woke up rather abruptly and was mostly pissed. I kept going and she actually looked at the clock – me thinking that she was at least considering it. No. She said it’s a ’school night’. I kept trying to kiss her telling her that the bed was kidless and that I had been watching her for about 30 minutes. She said no again. She got up and went to the bathroom – I had a fifty-fifty chance on what her reaction would be when she returned. She banished me to the other side of the bed. She said something else about having to wake up in four hours and that it was a school night and I said that she should remember to wake me up when she gets up.
So, she has two alarms go off. I woke up with the first one – she hit snooze and went right back to sleep. I stayed awake, waiting for the second alarm. I positioned myself close to her and put my hand on her leg – just as the second alarm went off. She got straight out of bed, threw her pillow at me and said “I hate you”. She went in the bathroom and I couldn’t tell if it was a passing, conceding statement and she would return… Nope, shower started, she stepped in.
After she got out, she came into the room and turned on the lights to pick clothes. I told her that her words were a bit ‘harsh’. She left the room again, came over to my side of the bed and sort of kissed me on the cheek and said “I love you, but you’re a man”. What the hell is that?
Needless to say, after waking up – I had to release. So I made it six days. Oops.
Had lunch today – couldn’t even bring it up. B.F. looked great – very natural. No blood racing to organs today. Maybe it was a fluke? I need to let this conversation go. Nothing good can come from this.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Friends, Sex Observations, Sex Thoughts
Back in the early 90’s, an acquaintance – a pig of a guy, that has a story for EVERYTHING – once told me that guys and girls (maybe he said chicks and dudes) can NEVER be just friends. He said that guys always are being friends just to get in the girls pants. Plain and simple. I argued several friendships that I had and he asked if I would hit-it if given the opportunity. After thought, I said that I could. He raised the stakes a bit and said if we both had a few drinks; were stuck in a hotel for the night; and the T.V. was broken and stuck on – with only porn channels on. Would I be able to control myself? I assured him that I could. He called bullshit and said that all guys just want to have their dicks sucked or to be sticking it in a girl – friends, enemies – no difference. He would always say that if you didn’t want to have sex with a girl – especially HOT ones, something was wrong with you. He will further argue that is was okay to WANT to have sex with someone, like your friends girlfriend, but ACTING upon that was totally against all dude rules.
After what happened today, I am fucked in the head. Was the blood rushing to my penis a reaction to the person that I was hugging? Was it my penis knowing something that my brain won’t admit to? Was it just a circulation issue and I should give up on it?
I truly wanted to talk to my wife about it but I don’t think that anything good would come from that conversation. It’s not like I want to have sex with B.F. – it really has not crossed my mind.
I thought about calling B.F. again and spilling my guts. She’s my friend afterall, but would this corrupt that? I don’t know how I would feel if she told me that. We honestly can tell eachother anything, but I don’t think I can tell her this as I don’t think I want to know what her reaction would be.
Can guys and gals be best friends with no sex involved? Can we be trusted? Is this cheating – just the fact that I had a boner from someone other than my wife?
What if she shuts me out as a friend – I can’t risk that as I need our conversations. If she thought it meant more, I can’t handle that. If she felt the same, I don’t think I could deal with that – I need a friend right now.
Tonight was a costumed event which I normally do not care for. She demanded that I be on-time which I made a valiant effort to do so. Once home, she called and asked me to bring the camera which she had forgotten. I had placed it out for her before I left for work, but she misplaced it. Then she called and asked me to find some red lipstick that was left out. I asked for locations to look or hints on where they may be. She offered nothing. I spent almost 45 minutes looking for this stuff. Knowing that if I didn’t find it, I would be yelled at. I went from room to room – looking everywhere – nothing. I tried calling her – nothing. I got dressed and left. On the way, my mom had called asking where I was. Now I KNEW I was being set up to be the bad guy.
I arrived and guess what she was holding – the camera. When I asked her about it, she said she didn’t tell me to find the camera – she had it all along. What was I to do? Argue?
Even though she looked tired – she looked very hot. Her costume was off the shoulders and she would flash some leg every now and then. My costume was made to be worn without clothes and pretty much all night – that’s all I could think about. When we got home we put the kids to sleep, although they were too wired. She got ready for bed and while she did that, I put the costume on without clothes. When she came to the bedroom, I came out of the bathroom – ready for something. She did her best attempt at being too ‘tired’ – but you could tell that she thought it was cute. We had sex – albeit quick but she wouldn’t let me get her to climax. The kids were still awake and she gets kind of strange about that.
During the lovemaking, I told her that tomorrow night we were going to both dress up in our costumes and that there would be some serious sex going on. She liked that idea and I am looking forward to tomorrow!
When I crawled into bed last night – my wife was ‘active’ in her sleep. Her breathing was quick, she was tossing and turning, moaning – something was up. Being the male, I immediately figure that sex was imminent so I spend almost an hour trying to see if it was in the cards. I tried moving closer to her, brushing up against her legs, her tummy. Nothing. I tried rubbing her hands, nothing. When I put my hand on the small of her back – she completely stopped everything. Not necessarily a good thing in my case. I waited another 15 minutes to see if she started up. Nothing. My loss.
But my dreams! Whoa. In my dreams we were making love somewhere – but it was really fun. Needless to say, I did not sleep very well.
I called her this morning to see what her dreams were about and she was being ‘chased’ and was very frightened. Stupid male hormones and their poor guessing abilities!
