Frustrated at Forty

Best Friend came over this morning at about 7 o’clock. It’s a long story as to why so early, but I won’t get into that right now. She got an earful while we looked through the house and drank cups of coffee. In my NOT being able to talk to her the past couple of weeks, I had a lot to get out. We both laughed at how similar our lives are and how much we are not alone in this whole child rearing endeavor that we are mired in.
I made us some breakfast as well and before we knew it, four hours had passed. We just sat across from eachother- talking about our lives and wondering how we got to this point. When did our lives change so much? Has it been gradual? Was it quick? Did we just have blinders on to what the reality was? Did the others change or was it us? Is it a mix of everything? It felt so good to talk openly with someone.
We decided that it was time to do something. She was not up for making decisions so we opted for going to a movie. I had to take a shower before we left so I was ready in about ten minutes. It was strange to know that she was in the other room while I was taking a shower. Like a temptation, but more of just a comfort(?). I can’t explain it.
We went to the movies and our theaters here have nice seating with reclining seats and the armrests move up out of the way. About the time the movie actually started, we were holding hands. Again, it was a total comfortable feeling. A couple times during the movie she moved closer and was kind of leaning on my shoulder. It just felt good to have someone next to me.
As the lights came up after the movie, my thoughts raced to a parent from school, or someone else knowing one of us – or worse, our spouses – seeing us in the theater. My forgot that thinking as quickly as it started and to be honest – didn’t care.
We went back to my house and talked a bit more – almost like a conclusion to our whole day. Both of our lives would return to their ‘normal’ routines in a matter of hours. It was kind of wierd.
When she got up to leave, I gave her a real long hug. I just wanted a little more holding time.
We made it through a day that potentially – in my mind – could have ended much differently. I am glad. I love my Best Friend.