Frustrated at Forty

I return home from a trip and find the driveway empty.  My obvious thought is that they all went out to eat without me.  There’s a note on the door that says “Be Right Back” in my child’s handwriting.
Her car pulls up and she’s alone.  Both kids have sleepovers and it’s just the two of us.  This is a big surprise as she hasn’t planned anything for us since December of 2006.
She had brought me some dinner so she wouldn’t have to cook and we wouldn’t have to clean up after it.  I asked what she had in mind for the evening and she said she wanted to watch a movie.  With children we pretty much only watch G and PG rated movies any longer.  She wanted to to be able to make love and maybe she would even be in the mood for some porn.  Wow!  You could have knocked me over with a feather at this news.
The problem was, and it just became more evident as the evening progressed.  She had been drinking.  She started slurring a bit and had no concentration.  I don’t know how much she had already had.  She poured us each a glass of wine.  I had asked her to pick some R-Rated – non-child movies to watch and she immediately started looking for some porn.  Good ol’ Cinemax (Skinamax) didn’t start up until 9pm and it was only 7pm.  I reminded her of our old stash of 90’s porn and she reluctantly chose one that she did not remember.  It was a dubbed European title that I did not even remember watching.  We couldn’t get past five minutes of it.  The dubbing was poor and the basic plot was just fucking.  She likes things with a ’story’.  She chose a different one and that was fine.  She had refilled her glass of wine and had stripped down.  She left her bra on – ‘because it was pretty’.  We watched the first part of the movie while our hands roamed each other’s bodies and kissed each other while the other watched.  She started rubbing my penis through my boxers.  Soon enough she was backing herself up to me and let me penetrate her from behind while we were spooned together.  I pulled myself from her extreme moistness and went down on her.  I asked her to tell me what was happening on the TV while I licked her with fervor.  The couple was screwing on the bed while a maid was watching and playing with herself.  I asked her to give me details while I was licking her.  She complied and wanted me in her.  I denied that request and continued licking until she stopped narrating the movie and she concentrated on herself.  Soon she had come and my chin and cheeks were wet with her happiness.  I climbed on top and was soon ready to cum.  She started licking my nipples and that was it – I was done.
I rolled off of her and we returned to watching the movie.  It was an orgy scene now and I continued to play with her breasts.  Her hand found my cock again and she started stroking it with vigor.  Too much vigor.  Friction burns hurt no matter what is used to help lube it up.  It was still moist from our playing but I’ve been at this point before.  She wants more and if I’m not up to the occasion she takes it out on my penis.  This is the alcohol taking control of the situation.  I should just walk away from it but we’re back on the ’scheduled sex’ schedule so I know it’s going to be another week.  I pull far enough out of her reach and continue licking her nipples and trying to get her to come again with my fingers.
Again, after a certain point of alcohol – it won’t happen.  I’ve been here too many times before.  My penis is ready for round two and I roll her on top of me.  At this point, my penis hurts from being rubbed too hard and the act is pretty much not so enjoyable any longer.  I know that she won’t orgasm – even being on top and controlling where I am hitting her.  I can tell it’s frustrating her and I try to talk her into pleasuring herself while I’m in her.  She tries but again, I can tell it won’t be happening for her.  I get to the point that I’m ready to cum again and ask if she wants me to cum inside her.  She is so frustrated with me that she doesn’t answer.  I cum and she sort of rolls off of me.
In about four minutes she’s snoring.  While she’s laying there passed out I reflect on the whole thing.  The sad reality is that if I want sex – I have to put up with the alcohol.  As a sober person she rarely wants anything to do with me.  Is that a problem with me to her?  Does she feel she has to be drunk to have sex?  I have lost about 30 pounds, maybe could loose another ten – but I hardly feel ugly enough to think she’s got to be drunk.  Maybe it’s what she uses to lower her inhibitions?  That’s kind of scary because then I worry about what happens if she’s been drinking and I’m not around?  Pizza boy?  Man at a bar?  Neighbors?  That’s not healthy for me to think about.  While pondering these crazy questions I finish my wine.  And hers.  Hell, might as well finish the bottle.  I did.
I watched a violent movie that I could never watch with the kids in the house.  Domino.  Stupid movie.  But it has Keira Knightley and she’s easy on the eyes.  She’s of that age that I don’t feel comfortable seeing her naked – kind of dirty.
She’s still out by the end of the movie.  I try covering her up but she wakes up.  She stumbles to our bed and is snoring within 30 seconds.  At this point I decide that I’m going to clean up all evidence of our evening and see what she says in the morning.  This is the alcohol thinking in ME.  I want to see what she says.  I put up all the videos, the hide-a-bed, wash the sheets – everything is put away and cleaned.  In my feeble little mind I justify this action as I wonder if she will have any memories.
We’ll see in the morning.  My dick hurts.