Frustrated at Forty

In looking at my current situation, I have to look back at my life. Mostly this is to see if I can see a pattern or to see if I can see possible reasons for my current situation.

Not long after number two was born, we quickly addressed the notion that we did not want to have any more children.  With the relative ease that number two came along, neither of us wanted to risk a number three.  We investigated the options – either her or me.  I’m a bit of a penny pincher and to snip me would only cost a $30 co-pay – her surgery would have been $1,200.  You don’t think about the way future at that time as being any different from the present so it made more sense to me at that time.

The doctor advised us to wait a year, until number two was about a year old so that we could gauge better that she would be well in case we wanted another.  We used condoms and some vaginal gel sheet contraceptive that kind of put a damper on the ol’ sexual homestead.  After the 1st birthday, I made the appointment.

Having anything done to or around your penis is pretty scary.  I remember that I was supposed to shave my pubic area and scrotum.  That was to be a sexual thing for us – but put a razor in your lover’s hand in THAT area and you can’t get too excited anymore.

I went in for the procedure and got to witness what my wife told me is just the embarrassment of gynecological exams.  Sit back on a table, feet apart, knees in the air and people looking at your junk.  Of course, the table faced the door and for some reason, a nurse kept having to come into the room to ask a question and another nurse was watching the procedure so I had two to four people looking at my balls for about twenty minutes.

I went home and had to sleep for a few days with bags of frozen peas in my underwear to keep the swelling down. During this time, child number one came running into the bedroom and stepped squarely on my crotch.  I had to go to the doctor to make sure that nothing had ripped loose.  Ouch, that hurts just typing it.